I’ve always done too many things at once.

never a careful combination or

specific precision

always tossing this in

or mixing spices for effect:

usually dark chocolate and orange

or cranberries and sugar

crystalline pops of perfection

crusty flaky and creamy macchiato

espresso and chocolate, nestled together

                – a harmony of Venetian morning

long lemon peels and

thin cheese strands

writing, and painting, and penting


travelling and


its a messy beauty I love

and a whirl of places people and things

but also

slowed down to a serene look around



To Friends Who Have Also Considered Suicide

Smear of orange latte on a browning page

Looking into glassy brown lenses
Lit up in the pale cold sunlight
black lines, orbits        black tunnel

Into the mind —

Throbbing    as I stare,

faint pink veins      smudged down one corner
smudged up one smooth point

rays of January light reflect off the
crystalline brown surface       glistening alive

     dead can yet be deadder

Shattered and broken        laying askew
Lips bleeding a deep, internal, sickly blood
apart,   an inanimate whisper

a skull so chipped like china

fragmented and broken;
   thudded times fifty or thudded once
fifty times hard?

carving lifeless cheeks    soft plastic
molten off       and no more beautiful
or together

But those eyes glisten with life
The pupil contracts and catches light;

brimming ponderance,

motionless with madness